Scalloped Short Sleeve Top // Madewell Jeans (my favorites!)  // Sandals ($12.99 and super comfy! Bought them in both black and brown) // Slouch Tote (on sale!)

Oh that? That’s the face of a girl who way is too nice.

When I was younger, being “nice” was a badge of honor, at least for me. It may seem counter intuitive because I have a blog where I literally talk about myself (don’t worry, I’m still weirded out by it too…), but I actually had terrible self-confidence when I was growing up – and still do in many ways to this day. I was super self-conscious about my appearance and felt like the only thing that made me desirable to people was that I was really freaking nice. I was friends with everyone (even bullies, bullies need friends too, right?), I bought people gifts, went out of my way for everyone, and did all the work in group projects because I didn’t want anyone to think I wasn’t anything but super helpful and nice.

Plus, I was really into the idea of karma. Because if you’re nice to everyone, karma’s going to always hook you up, right?!

Ehhhh…not always…   Don’t get me wrong, my life motto has always been “work hard and be nice to people” and I still 100% believe in that. Whether it’s work, relationships, friendships – that motto is always something I strive to follow and be. But as I get older, the biggest feedback I get from the people around me who care about me is that I’m way too nice. My mom is constantly giving me tough love in the “you’re too nice” department,  and while I used to think she was crazy, I’m starting to realize more and more that she’s probably right. And it’s turned out to be more difficult to move up in your career when you’re cornered as the “nice girl” all the time, especially when you’re the one who usually says “yes” to everything – even when you shouldn’t.

So I’m working the next few months learning to say “no” when I should, and look out for myself a little more, even though that sometimes feels unkind. Whether it’s putting my foot down when I should in my relationships, or giving myself my own agenda at work, it’s good to look out for yourself and have another motive than just being nice all the time.

I used to think having my own agenda was inherently selfish, but now I’m realizing it’s essential to be your own advocate – in work and in life.   Being nice and working hard is always going to be a part of my DNA – and there’s no feedback that’s going to change my own life motto too drastically. But it’s good to have a reminder from the people who love you most that you need to look out for yourself, and take care of yourself more than other people sometimes.

So while I’ll always be Mrs. nice girl, I’ll at least be marching to my own agenda too – rather than just following everyone else to be nice. I’ll keep you updated on how it goes, but sometimes it’s important to break character in order to put yourself first.

Anyone else have this same realization recently? I know I’m late to the party, but I’m hoping that this shift of looking out for myself gives me some much needed confidence in the right direction <3